Current mood:	pwned
Entry tags:	health, kaida, life, link, music, phone, random

mixed-up
posting randomly.

i guess i'm generally in an odd mood. the onset of october always makes me feel a little giddy with building excitement for my day at the end of the month. haha i guess i'm always like that with special days.

however, recent turbulent events throw in a negative vibe to building excitement, resulting in a rather odd mix of plain ngslkdrhtskksdjfhtgkwenrg.

..i feel restless. i feel as if there this grand canyon-sized gap that i have to jump across to get to something.. and i don't know what that something is. forgive the rather lame attempt at waxing poetic, i guess i just don't know how to describe this feeling. XD


maybe i'll start with a rather long-standing issue when it came to bands and the music scene in general: exposure vs. creating and playing your own music.

if you were in a band, which would you choose? a) exposure, even if it means playing covers or playing something the producer or record label wants that may not generally be what you want; or b) would you be adamant and not bend for the commercial wants of the population, and wish to be known for your own music, even if it is not mainstream?

a lot of people i know generally answer that it's okay to do covers especially when you're starting, because you are showing your influences and at the same time testing your level of skill against well-known bands, because covers (for me, anyway) are a measure of comparison. if the only song you can cover is "narda," well.. okay. good for you.

going back to what my friends generally say, covers are fine at the beginning, but hopefully there will come a time and an opportunity wherein you can play your own music and be known. it's how my father started out, too.

the central issue i'm trying to get at here, i think, is labels. of course most bands don't want to be labelled as something that doesn't fully capture their music. but then again, i really don't think you put the label onto yourself. it's the listeners that label you. and good effin' god, have there been a LOT of arguments with labels with the perennial "you call that rock? that's not rock. that's pop" or "that's not r&b, dude" or "you fucktards, that's not metal, you fucktard posers!"

and here i ask: why the hell does it have to matter? fact is, once you're famous, you're pop. it means popular music, after all. maybe odyssey stores will put your cds under 'rock' because "oh, they have electric guitars, let's put them here" or maybe people will say "oh look, there are the geeks who love anime cartoons because they play anime songs," but why does it have to matter?

is this even an issue of integrity? your principles in exchange for a good opportunity? someone help me out here please. i would be eternally grateful.

and of course, ah of course. music as a profitable career. oh yes, another old issue.

we who are not heirs of wealthy moguls or sultans need jobs that pay for the gigs, recordings, the rehearsals, the equipment. jobs with tight schedules that prevent us from attending the gigs, the recordings, the rehearsals. oh, the irony. what, oh what, is one to do?

of course, by no means is this asking for musicians to quit their regular jobs. most do not have a choice. after all, i have experienced living on a career in music here in the philippines and it was not easy. you could become rather famous but still be financially debilitated. it's a sad and ironic thing. there are signs that the scene is improving when it comes to the financial side for the musicians, but still, it's a bit limited to the dirt-ass famous. i see good in musician movements that promote awareness of musician's rights. hopefully capitalists take a hint soon enough.

but until then.. more and more bands that i see getting famous come from ateneo, which generally (note: generally) means that they have money and connections to play their music. suffice it to say, i have nothing against ateneo or the bands in the current mainstream scene.

and what is up with people who still associate rock music with booze and girls and late night parties?

..but my thoughts are getting nowhere, as they are wont to do when i have a headache due to that time of the month.

ah so now we move into a completely different territory. cover your eyes and ears, boys, this is girl talk - specifically, mom talk - now.

i positively hate the injectible contraceptive i'm on. it makes my cycle irregular but very intense when they do arrive, coupled with the fact that breastfeeding can sometimes make you skip months in the first place. add the fact that them hormones they inject me with just make me physically unstable. i'm already mentally unstable as it is.

also, kaida's current bout with colds has me on edge again. i am praising the good lord that this is just the second time in her still-young life that she has gotten sick. but the weather got to her again and she developed colds, and is having a rather difficult time sleeping because she wakes up crying in a panic when her nose is clogging up and she feels she can't breathe.

she had a low fever earlier today, but she's doing better now. if she doesn't get better tomorrow, i'm gonna take her to her doctor.

so.

pile all this up along with anticipation for a new mobile phone that aru's mom is gonna send me for a birthday gift. i try try try try so hard not to be so damn excited about it, but resistance is futile. ~_~

yes, yes, you are looking at one mixed up kimi here.